Begin with community.

I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. 1 Corinthians 1:10

Relationships are a tricky thing. As community is built around us, I am learning that something that lacks in our society is depth. We put up walls, we judge, we compare, and we refuse to be vulnerable to protect ourselves. I say we, because I too am guilty of this. I too lack depth in my relationships. I am grateful for the friends and the family I do have. And I am even more grateful for the special friends whom I am walking through life with where I can be the most genuine person I am, where they can tell me the hard truths of life that I need to hear, where I can be vulnerable and raw. And I know they can be that with me. Those are the friendships that we are all seeking, deep friendships that are filled with truth and love. And for the people in my life that are that for me, thank you. Thank you for trusting me, loving me, praying for me, and being vulnerable and truthful with me.

But, I am in a new place, thousands of miles away from those friendships. And although I am committed to the most important people in my life, I am also building new community here, new friendships. And it is hard. I am trying to find my way and as I have been living here I have caught myself being judgmental, bitter, entitled, and comparative. I have three roommates, all of whom are kind people. One in particular who has been a blessing, answering prayers as I began my journey in Hawaii. But, sharing a space, walking in and having to adjust my way of life has been challenging. It is convicting, yet sharing a room with someone you don’t know is uncomfortable. You do not have your own space and as an extroverted introvert, I need that. I am mentioning this because I am guilty of this sin, this sin of not being in community with the people around me. Being quick to judge, lacking vulnerability and curiosity. I have been pushing away relationships and refusing to be just what God calls us to be as His people, humble.

This is just my example, but I see the lack of deep relationships all around me. People who go to church and poeple who don’t. As we work to combat that in the “Big C church,” our focus remains on Jesus and how He was in community, how He loved the people around Him.

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my life for the sheep.” John 10:14-15

Jesus is our good shepherd. He knew us, He knows us now, and He humbled himself. He was the most vulnerable any human could every be as He laid down His life for our sins. He calls us, as His people, His beloved sons and daughters, to do the same. So, be vulnerable. Be humble. And my very favorite someone once taught me, be curious. Ask someone to go get coffee, ask someone to go for a walk, even ask someone to go get a margarita. I don’t care what it is, but go and do it. Because the more we put ourselves out there, the more the people in our lives will do the same.

This is a picture of some people I met at church that invited me to go hiking a few weekends ago. They were the ones who took the risk. And I am grateful for that. I am grateful I said yes and for the community I am building with them.

I just finished reading Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover (not really a good Christian book, so Lord, please forgive my sins.) But, nonetheless, I read it, I got choked up, and I loved it. SPOILER ALERT. The struggle to be vulnerable, to let other people in, to love, to go in depth in a relationship, and to trust is all over that book. Yet, it ends with the realization that all the beautiful parts of love outweigh the ugly. They did in that story and they can in your life too. When you seek first the kingdom of God, He fills you with the only love that can ever truly satisfy your soul. And it is His love, the Holy Spirit within you, that allows you to love others, to build community, to take risks, to trust, and to be gracious with your heart towards others. Be vulnerable. Be humble. Be curious. Be in community. Will you take the risk today?

Love and Blessings,

P.S. I will keep you posted on my roommate situation and if I stay brave enough to ask her to go get coffee or maybe a margarita. Pray for me.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your interests but each of you to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4